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Yessir, That’s Our Baby (TV series episode)
Yessir, That's Our Baby is the fifteenth episode of the eighth season of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, as well as the 188th overall series episode. Directed by cast member Alan Alda, the episode was written by Jim Mulligan; it originally aired on December 31, 1979. Plot synopsis When a young Amerasian infant is left abandoned in camp by her Korean mother, Hawkeye and the others decide to try and get her shipped to the states, but run into insurmountable walls of red tape at every turn. Full episode summary In the early dawn, the sleeping Swamp mates all hear crying from nearby. Winchester grudgingly goes to investigate and finds a basket near their doorstep with a baby inside. After he brings the baby in to the Swamp he finds a note attached to its swaddling clothes. The note reads: "This is my baby. She is good baby, strong, beautiful. Father, American G.I., gone now. Baby American, too. Please, doctors, care for her. I cannot, but I love her." The infant quickly becomes the darling of the entire camp, and the senior staff all argue over who gets to take care of her. Eventually, they all wind up taking turns; Hawkeye feeds her in the Mess Tent, Potter gives her a physical, Klinger shows Margaret and the nurses how to put a Lebanese sarape on the baby, and Margaret offers up her quarters as a place for the toddler to sleep. Ironically, the one dark cloud comes from Father Mulcahy after he returns from a day at the orphanage and quickly notices the baby is of mixed race; he paints a very grim picture about how the Amerasian babies (and their mothers) become outcasts once the villages find out the babies were fathered by Americans. To their horror, Mulcahy then tells about how baby boys are often emasculated while the girls are categorically slaughtered. He fears that the girl will have no future if she is forced to stay in Korea. But then Mulcahy offers up an alternative- to take her to a Catholic mission, an isolated monastery buried deep in the Korean hills, where the reclusive monks there will cloister her and educate her, and with help from other monasteries abroad, perhaps get her out of Korea in fifteen or twenty years. They all agree that it doesn't sound like much of a life, but Mulcahy says it's the only chance she has. Hawkeye disagrees and, since the baby is half-American, is willing to try and go through whatever channels he can to get her shipped stateside. For their first attempt, Hawkeye and B.J. go to Seoul and talk to a Miss Harper at the Red Cross, who only turns them down repeating "our areas of responsibility are very specific". Though she admires what they're trying to do, she also chides their naivete, and then suggests they talk to the Army. Hawkeye and B.J. then talk to Major Spector, the top aide for the Adjutant General Corps. He tells about the numerous levels of protocol they would have to go through for approval, but even if they make it all the way to the top of the top (which is highly unlikely), there is no way the baby will make it out of Korea. When Spector callously says it is not an Army matter, Hawkeye remarks about all the GIs who are out in the field "making babies, and then making tracks" and feels it should become an Army matter. Spector then asks why Hawkeye and B.J. are so out of joint over one baby, and then snidely asks if one of them is the daddy. An offended B.J. intimidatingly says, "Good thing for you we're doctors, 'cause I'm gonna break every bone in your body." Back in camp that evening, Colonel Potter rebukes the two for nearly getting into a fist fight, and then declares that he himself will accompany Hawkeye when he visits the South Korean government official the next morning. The official, Chung Ho Kim, offers no help, but validates Father Mulcahy's assessment of the situation; he states that the people of Korea are of one race, and fiercely intolerant of any intrusion by a mixed-race child into their society. Kim then points out that of all the nations fighting in the Korean War, only the United States refuses to accept responsibility for the babies fathered by their own servicemen, while other nations are more than willing to help their own by offering citizenship. Back at camp, Father Mulcahy again suggests the monastery, but Hawkeye is wanting to take one more shot: the U.S. Consulate in Tokyo. Potter agrees, but points out that their visit calls for sophistication, and Potter decides to send Charles along, who happens to speak "fluent hoi polloi". At the meeting, and after numerous interruptions, the diplomat, showing complete indifference to their case, abruptly dismisses them, refusing to help. Charles has been keeping Hawkeye on a short leash the whole time, but towards the end of the meeting, Charles himself loses his own temper and has to be restrained by Hawkeye when he threatens to assault the diplomat. With no other options left, Hawkeye, B.J., Charles and Father Mulcahy drive to the monastery with the baby; Mulcahy reminds them that the monks want no contact with anyone and that the baby must be left in complete secrecy or she will not be accepted. After the four take turns saying goodbye to the infant, Hawkeye gently places her inside the rotating cradle and closes it. He then rings a nearby bell, and the four drive back to camp. Later, during a session in O.R., Hawkeye muses how much the child meant to them all, and how each of them will carry that memory the rest of their lives. Research notes/Fun facts *Potterism: Mule muffins! *The Title comes from a 1925 song. *'Sliding Timeline fix': Hawkeye calls the milk in the surgical glove "Chateau Moo 51" which places the events in 1951 and also refers to the US Commander as Douglas MacArthur - an anachronisms, since Potter didn't arrive at the 4077th until September 1952! *Klinger wants to name the baby "Scheherazade". Scheherazade was a legendary Arabic queen and the storyteller of One Thousand and One Nights. *Trapper John McIntyre tried adopting a lost Korean child in Season 2 "Kim" - but he never got started tackling the bureaucratic process (Kim's mother showed up looking for him), so we don't know if he would have succeeded. *In 1982 the Amerasian Immigration Act defined Amerasians as children whose fathers were U.S. citizens and whose mothers were nationals of Kampuchea (Cambodia), Korea, Laos, Thailand, or Vietnam, and who had been born between January 1, 1950, and October 22, 1982. did not immediately award citizenship to the Amerasians it defined, and that children of American fathers and women from Japan, Taiwan, and the Philippines were not considered Amerasians under the law. The 1989 American Homecoming Act provided passage for Amerasian Children from the Vietnam War. In 2012 it is reported that Amerasian Children of the Phillippines were fighting to be accepted as Americans. This episode is dated as it refers to the Pearl S Buck Foundation - it is now the Pearl S Buck International which manages overseas humanitarian programs that provide aid to marginalized children and their families in South Korea, Thailand, Philippines, Taiwan, Vietnam, and China. *In one scene when Klinger helps with the baby, he talks about someday becoming a father. Although he said he'd get attach to a little girl, he predicts that he will have a son. He predicts correct. Sometime after the war in AfterMASH, he and his future wife Soon Lee will have a baby boy. *Sergeant Zelmo Zale is mentioned for the final time since his final appearance in Good-Bye Radar: Part 1. Guest stars/Recurring cast *Howard Platt as Major Ted Spector *William Bogert as Roger Prescott *Elizabeth Farley as Louise Harper *Yuki Shimoda as Chung Ho Kim *Uncredited appearances by Kellye Nakahara, Gwen Farrell, Jennifer Davis, Jo Ann Thompson, Shari Saba External links *[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0638479/ M*A*S*H episode Yessir, That's Our Baby at the Internet Movie Database (IMDb)] Category:Season 8 episodes